Pitbull Attack | PitbullAttack.org

Pitbull shown with sporadically effective muzzle

Lately, people have been asking one pivotal question: Why do pitbulls want to destroy the environment?

Statistics taken from a recently released study completed by a pair of New Zealand scientists show that the average dog is highly unenvironmental – leaving more than twice the annual carbon footprint of a full sized SUV. How it does this may allude many, but it simply breaks down to the amount of land necessary to grow the dog’s annual supply of food.

An average-sized dog will consume a proportion of meat and cereals every day as part of the standard makeup of dry bagged dogfoods. Mutiply this seemingly modest figure by 365 to cover a year, and you’ll arrive at 362 pounds of meat and 209 pounds of cereal munched through annually. Given the acreage of land it takes to raise this staggering amount of meat as well as grow this mass of crops, it ends up being roughly equivalent to the carbon footprint left by the manufacture of a large SUV, as well 12,000 kilometers of driving.

Keep in mind, this is for the average dog – now lets consider the loathsome pitbull.

To say that pitbulls have a slightly larger carbon footprint than the average dog would be an epic understatement – the type of understatement a pitbull would love to propagate as it takes a satisfying glance upward at our progressively smoggier atmosphere. While it is true that the average pitbull, the “steroid drenched bodybuilder” of the canine world, eats much more food than the average dog to maintain its muscle mass, this is just an issue of margin. To examine the real reason pitbulls are absolutely catastrophic to the environment, one must extrapolate.

Global warming is raised as a concern more and more every year, for good reason. Our civilization is starting to glean the affects of greenhouse gasses and the overuse of fossil fuels. As fossil fuels start to decline and become less used, and greener technology becomes standard, people have less and less of a carbon footprint. There are designs for carbon neutral buildings, and eventually, cities in the works. It’s easy to project that future generations will actually be carbon negative. If you haven’t caught on to the foreshadowing here, you obviously haven’t witnessed a young child get torn away from its mother’s arms, by the throat, by a massive musclebound pitbull in an all too common state of berserk bloodlust.

This frequently occurring massacre of our young and vulnerable during pitbull attacks is already, clearly, more than enough of an abject terror plaguing our society. To add insult to (mortal) injury, these young promising children are the earliest parts of our next undoubtedly carbon negative generations. Every time a pitbull attack inevitably ends in the slaughter of a young child, one can extrapolate that thousands of pounds of carbon will be left by that child in the future.

How can we fight to turn the tide of a warming, greenhouse gas filled planet when future generations are being decimated by these carbon compounding canines? The answer doesn’t need to be spelled out. Pitbulls need to be eliminated from our society, and their owners persecuted as conspirators.

A blur of fur, unbridled muscle, and razor sharp teeth. A feeling of helpless panic and terror almost immediately accompanied by a telltale splash of crimson. These are oftentimes the last things a pitbull victim experiences before losing consciousness at the paws of these bloodthirsty canine scourges. While some manage to escape the ravages of this all too common whirlwind of toothjawed death, most don’t. Unfortunately for thousands of devastated families every year, young children, toddlers and infants suffer more pitbull-induced mortalities than any other group. Many are left simply wondering, “Why?”.

Pitbulls as a breed operate chillingly similar to the hardened thugs of the criminal underworld. Burglars and thieves systematically select the weakest of our society to take advantage of. Although pitbulls have no need for the money and possessions that reward criminal behavior (as of this writing), their thirst for the blood of the young and helpless is fundamentally unquenchable, and the easiest to fulfill. It’s no coincidence that the most helpless and innocent are the first to be pounced upon and torn apart into a steaming pile of torn flesh and crushed bone. It’s also no coincidence that a vast majority of pitbull owners themselves are hardened criminals, perpetuating ruthlessness through any means possible.

So common are these attacks that is doesn’t take much imagination to picture how it can all go wrong – or in the frenzied eyes of a wayward pitbull – how it can all go “right”. A young child plays in the front yard of a suburban home in anytown, USA. Crawling underneath the low hanging branch of a pine tree to retrieve a ball, little Freddy is unaware that a killer lurks in the shadows. One can almost imagine the palpable feeling of child hunger emanating from a pitbull poised to strike. The promising and fragile frame of youth causes the pit to drool, licking its vile chops in anticipation of its next hapless meal. Just then, a shot rings out into the sleepy afternoon air. Fortunately for Freddy, model neighbor and all around Samaritan Doug from next door glanced the situation before anything transpired. Still standing on his porch frozen in shooting position, Doug has slain this beast with one well placed slug from his Remington shotgun. Even young Freddy immediately sheds a tear, knowing full well he just narrowly escaped a grisly death.

This dreamlike scenario never occurred. In all reality Freddy’s esophagus would be found in a sinewy mess by investigators, likely miles away along a red-streaked path of blood and unidentifiable meaty remains. However, we can all be like heroic neighbor Doug in our own way by taking strong and decisive action.

Terrorists have explosives. Bank robbers have guns. Arsonists have gas and matches. Pitbull owners have pitbulls. The path of action is clear and must be taken at once: Every pitbull owner needs to be stripped of their hounds of havoc and shunned by our fair society for threatening to bring it to its beast fang-bludgeoned knees.